i am guiltily running away from my once called home cos i can't accept the fact that my dad is no longer as before. that is why i kept on wanting to leave home, to leave the country and start anew somewhere else, to leave the sad place that once made me happy. that's why i kept on talking about leaving this place my dear, cos i want to run away from reality, the fact that my dad has changed, for the worse. i didn't give u the reason of why i wana leave because i don't know how to put it.
if i love my people so much how can i bear to leave?
i am selfish.
i can't bear to see the people whom i love go down the drain and i dont have the courage to lift them up. that's why i chose escapism. but what makes me think that somewhere else will be better? i really don't. all i know was that when i was away in the States, i missed home but i loved the way my life was ver there. all the greenery, the flora the fauna. human politics was inevitable and i was part of it but i knew that all that can be avoided if only i was more calm. if only i could see the picture and have not dwelled on the mistakes the person had done. i was superficial, and disgustingly bias. i was dispicable.
i think, i need to change my school of thought and not run away.
i think i need help.
i need help.
♥ adeL darling
