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i just want to get some things off my chest. not out to offend anyone. just read with an open heart if u must...
i just want to say that if the family does not help itself to get together since that ah ma is gone now, someday, we will just walk pass each other not knowing that we are relatives. i can see small cliques forming. the well-to-do aunts getting together for their small party, leaving the rest of the family out. ah ma asked me some time before she fell ill "why are your aunts gathering by themselves and not ask me[ah ma] or any other siblings along?" i just stared at her and told her that cos the aunts who gathered together are tai-tais who don't have to work their ass off and worry about daily expenses. people tend to think that my dad is unfriendly and overly thrifty but they don't know and couldn't see how hard he has worked to make sure that he can provide his three kids and my ah ma with the best he can afford. daddy may have a very short temper, a loud voice and bad interpersonal skills but i know that he is the BEST DADDY any one could ever have.
sometimes i wonder whether it is true that "Blood is thicker than water". ah ma was right about one thing that she kept saying everytime one of her kids left after visiting her. "Once i'm gone, no one will come to our house anymore, people come to visit me for a purpose, not because i am their mother or that they care about me truely but they all come with a purpose, with something in mind and you will know when i am gone." i hate it when she said this. cos i was afraid that she will die and i knew what she said was going to happen and what people's purpose were. some of her kids are after her money. i know this sounds bad. yes. and i am ashamed of them. my ah ma, while she was alive, told me that it is going to be difficult to expect the rest of her kids to pay for her funeral except my dad because she knew them too well. she saw it through my grandpa's funeral. and the night when ah ma passed away, i was so disgusted by what one of my aunt said "we are daughters, we marry out, so we cannot make any decisions". what a load of crap. when the aunt said that, i thought to myself that since this aunt has only daughters and all of them are going to be "married out" of the family, you can forget about any funeral for yourself since none of your daughters can make any decision. what is wrong with you people.
and i did not like the fact that the aunts kept talking about my bro, as though he is infilial. hey, talk about yourselves before you point your fingers at my brother. everyone has a different way of letting go, a different way of mourning. none of you kids of my ah ma ever visited her voluntarily. it is always because she called and asked why haven't you all visited her then you guys decided to drag yourself down to see her. my brother was by her side all the time. he was there to talk to her when she was lonely, there to buy her favourite food whenever she wanted to eat and there to bring her water when she coughs in the middle of the night. so don't you aunties ever say my brother this and that!
u have NO right to do so.
♥ adeL darling
