i feel miserable and disgusted with my school work. i think i am exhausted. i have been sick AGAIN for one week. and i don't feel good about anything i do. to tell the truth, i'm into the 8th week of school and i have not done any work. i do not know what i am learning. i attend all my lectures faithfully and listen with open ears. i do not remember anything the lecturers have said or gone through. i did not contribute to my project work. i think my team mates are suffering silently. i am serious lagging behind. and you do not understand. i rush from places to places everyday for the past week. i do not know whether what i was rushing for was worth my time. i move aimlessly. i try to go with the flow, but somehow, i got lost. i thought i was going to break into many pieces, and i wish i did if that brings me my sanity. i lost faith in you. i detest the yr 3 who was supposed to help me but created more work for me. and i got him sacked from the research team. i refuse to accept the fact that i have planned and shelved everything for the zoo trip tmr, only to find out that i have to go with a bunch of superficial, egoistic and stuck-up people. and i hate crowds. and there are 20 people going. i wanted to help. and now i think i need help. i think i was happier last time. somehow, i don't think i enjoy the rollercoaster kind of life.
